Humor: Worst of Fortunes for the month of September, 2022

You are a taxi driver. Your cab is yellow and black, and...
You are a taxi driver. Your cab is yellow and black, and has been in use for only seven years. One of its windshield wipers is broken, and the carburetor needs adjusting. The tank holds 20 gallons, but at the moment is only three-quarters full...

There once was a dentist named Stone Who saw all his patients...
There once was a dentist named Stone Who saw all his patients alone. In a fit of depravity He filled the wrong cavity, And my, how his practice has grown!

There once was a man named Lodge, who had seatbelts installed...
There once was a man named Lodge, who had seatbelts installed in his Dodge. When his date was strapped in, He committed a sin, without ever leaving the garage.

There once was a man named McGruder, Who canoed with a girl...
There once was a man named McGruder, Who canoed with a girl in Bermuder. But the girl thought it crude, To be wooed in the nude, So McGru took an oar and subduder.

There was a young fellow named Sweeney, Whose girl was...
There was a young fellow named Sweeney, Whose girl was a terrible meanie, The hatch of her snatch, Had a catch that would latch, She could only be screwed by Houdini.

There was a young lady named Alice Who was known to have peed...
There was a young lady named Alice Who was known to have peed in a chalice. 'Twas the common belief It was done for relief, And not out of protestant malice.

There was a young lady of Rhyll In an omnibus was taken ill, ...
There was a young lady of Rhyll In an omnibus was taken ill, So she called the conductor, Who got in and fucked her, Which did more good than a pill.

There was a young lady of Wheeling Who professed to lack sexual...
There was a young lady of Wheeling Who professed to lack sexual feeling. But a cynic named Boris Just touched her clitoris, And she had to be scraped off the ceiling.

There was a young man from Maine Whose prick was as strong as...
There was a young man from Maine Whose prick was as strong as a crane; It was almost as long, So he strolled with his dong Extended in sunshine and rain.

Since we're all here, we must not be all there...
Since we're all here, we must not be all there. -- Bob "Mountain" Beck