Humor: Worst of Fortunes for the month of January, 2022

Domestic happiness and faithful friends.
Domestic happiness and faithful friends.

A desperate spinster from Clare Once knelt in the moonlight...
A desperate spinster from Clare Once knelt in the moonlight all bare, And prayed to her God For a romp on the sod-- 'Twas a passerby answered her prayer.

There was a young lady of Natchez Who chanced to be born with...
There was a young lady of Natchez Who chanced to be born with two snatches, And she often said, "Shit! Why, I'd give either tit For a man with equipment that matches." There was a young fellow named Locke Who was born with...

Man is a rational animal who always loses his temper when he...
Man is a rational animal who always loses his temper when he is called upon to act in accordance with the dictates of reason. -- Oscar Wilde

Here is the fact of the week, maybe even the fact of...
Here is the fact of the week, maybe even the fact of the month. According to probably reliable sources, the Coca-Cola people are experiencing severe marketing anxiety in China. The words "Coca-Cola" translate into Chinese as either...

In the east there is a shark which is larger than all other...
In the east there is a shark which is larger than all other fish. It changes into a bird whose winds are like clouds filling the sky. When this bird moves across the land, it brings a message from Corporate Headquarters. This message it drops into...

The salesman and the system analyst took off to spend a weekend...
The salesman and the system analyst took off to spend a weekend in the forest, hunting bear. They'd rented a cabin, and, when they got there, took their backpacks off and put them inside. At which point the salesman turned to his friend, and said,...

Never drink Coca-Cola in a moving elevator. The elevator's...
Never drink Coca-Cola in a moving elevator. The elevator's motion coupled with the chemicals in Coke produce hallucinations. People tend to change into lizards and attack without warning, and large bats usually fly in the window. (Additionally,...

Q: How many elephants can you fit in a VW Bug? A: ...
Q: How many elephants can you fit in a VW Bug? A: Four. Two in the front, two in the back. Q: How can you tell if an elephant is in your refrigerator? A: There's a footprint in the mayo. Q: How can you tell if two elephants...

Women are nothing but machines for producing children...
Women are nothing but machines for producing children. -- Napoleon