Humor: Best of Fortunes for Tuesday November 14, 2006

Let's say your wedding ring falls into your toaster, and when...
Let's say your wedding ring falls into your toaster, and when you stick your hand in to retrieve it, you suffer Pain and Suffering as well as Mental Anguish. You would sue: * The toaster manufacturer, for failure to include, in the instructions ...

Art is a lie which makes us realize the truth...
Art is a lie which makes us realize the truth. -- Picasso

A pretty young boy known as Kevin Was raped in a pasture...
A pretty young boy known as Kevin Was raped in a pasture by seven Lascivious beasts (Oh, those Anglican priests) And such is the Kingdom of Heaven.

No, I don't have a drinking problem. I drink, I get drunk,...
No, I don't have a drinking problem. I drink, I get drunk, I fall down. No problem!

Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra, which suddenly...
Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra, which suddenly flips over, pinning you underneath. At night the ice weasels come. -- Matt Groening, "Love is Hell"

You can cage a swallow, can't you, but you can't...
You can cage a swallow, can't you, but you can't swallow a cage, can you? Girl, bathing on Bikini, eyeing boy, finds boy eyeing bikini on bathing girl. A man, a plan, a canal -- Panama! -- The Palindromist

Man is the measure of all things. -- Protagoras
Man is the measure of all things. -- Protagoras

Oh, yeah, life goes on, long after the thrill of livin'...
Oh, yeah, life goes on, long after the thrill of livin' is gone. -- John Cougar, "Jack and Diane"