Humor: Best of Fortunes for Monday November 20, 2006

He jests at scars who never felt a wound. --...
He jests at scars who never felt a wound. -- Shakespeare, "Romeo and Juliet, II. 2"

I was working on a case. It had to be a case, because...
I was working on a case. It had to be a case, because I couldn't afford a desk. Then I saw her. This tall blond lady. She must have been tall because I was on the third floor. She rolled her deep blue eyes towards me. I picked them up and rolled...

If I told you you had a beautiful body, would you hold...
If I told you you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?

You need not worry about your future.
You need not worry about your future.

After all is said and done, a hell of a lot more is said than...
After all is said and done, a hell of a lot more is said than done

He who dies with the most toys wins.
He who dies with the most toys wins.

LOGO for the Dead LOGO for the Dead lets you continue your...
LOGO for the Dead LOGO for the Dead lets you continue your computing activities from "The Other Side." The package includes a unique telecommunications feature which lets you turn your TRS-80 into an electronic Ouija board. Then, using...

Scotty: Captain, we din' can reference it! Kirk: Analysis,...
Scotty: Captain, we din' can reference it! Kirk: Analysis, Mr. Spock? Spock: Captain, it doesn't appear in the symbol table. Kirk: Then it's of external origin? Spock: Affirmative. Kirk: Mr. Sulu, go to pass two. Sulu: Aye aye, sir, going...

The primary purpose of the DATA statement is to give names...
The primary purpose of the DATA statement is to give names to constants; instead of referring to pi as 3.141592653589793 at every appearance, the variable PI can be given that value with a DATA statement and used instead of the longer form of...

Please stand for the National Anthem: O Canada ...
Please stand for the National Anthem: O Canada Our home and native land True patriot love In all thy sons' command With glowing hearts we see thee rise The true north strong and free From far...