Humor: Best of Fortunes for the month of July, 2007

Never have children, only grandchildren. --...
Never have children, only grandchildren. -- Gore Vidal

ACHTUNG!!! Das machine is nicht fur gefingerpoken...
ACHTUNG!!! Das machine is nicht fur gefingerpoken und mittengrabben. Ist easy schnappen der springenwerk, blowenfusen und corkenpoppen mit spitzensparken. Ist nicht fur gewerken by das dummkopfen. Das rubbernecken sightseeren keepen hands in...

In matters of principle, stand like a rock; in matters...
In matters of principle, stand like a rock; in matters of taste, swim with the current. -- Thomas Jefferson

"Dump the condiments. If we are to be eaten, we don't...
"Dump the condiments. If we are to be eaten, we don't need to taste good." -- "Visionaries" cartoon

Consultants are mystical people who ask a company for a number...
Consultants are mystical people who ask a company for a number and then give it back to them.

JACK AND THE BEANSTACK by Mark...
JACK AND THE BEANSTACK by Mark Isaak Long ago, in a finite state far away, there lived a JOVIAL character named Jack. Jack and his relations were poor. Often their hash table was bare. One day Jack's parent said...

f u cn rd ths, itn tyg h myxbl cd.
f u cn rd ths, itn tyg h myxbl cd.

A is for Amy who fell down the stairs, B is for Basil assaulted...
A is for Amy who fell down the stairs, B is for Basil assaulted by bears. C is for Clair who wasted away, D is for Desmond thrown out of the sleigh. E is for Ernest who choked on a peach, F is for Fanny, sucked dry by a leech. G is for George, smothered...

A is for awk, which runs like a snail, and B is for biff, which...
A is for awk, which runs like a snail, and B is for biff, which reads all your mail. C is for cc, as hackers recall, while D is for dd, the command that does all. E is for emacs, which rebinds your keys, and F is for fsck, which rebuilds your trees. G...

Genius does what it must, and Talent does what it can...
Genius does what it must, and Talent does what it can. -- Owen Meredith