Humor: Best of Fortunes for the month of February, 2007

By the time you swear you're his, shivering and sighing and...
By the time you swear you're his, shivering and sighing and he vows his passion is infinite, undying -- Lady, make a note of this: One of you is lying. -- Dorothy Parker, "Unfortunate Coincidence"

AMAZING BUT TRUE ... If all the salmon caught in Canada in...
AMAZING BUT TRUE ... If all the salmon caught in Canada in one year were laid end to end across the Sahara Desert, the smell would be absolutely awful.

AMAZING BUT TRUE ... There is so much sand in Northern Africa...
AMAZING BUT TRUE ... There is so much sand in Northern Africa that if it were spread out it would completely cover the Sahara Desert.

All syllogisms have three parts, therefore this is not...
All syllogisms have three parts, therefore this is not a syllogism.

Antonym, n.: The opposite of the word you're trying...
Antonym, n.: The opposite of the word you're trying to think of.

Be assured that a walk through the ocean of most Souls would...
Be assured that a walk through the ocean of most Souls would scarcely get your Feet wet. Fall not in Love, therefore: it will stick to your face. -- National Lampoon, "Deteriorata"

Death is nature's way of telling you to slow down
Death is nature's way of telling you to slow down

Documentation is the castor oil of programming. Managers know...
Documentation is the castor oil of programming. Managers know it must be good because the programmers hate it so much.

Let He who taketh the Plunge Remember to return it by Tuesday.
Let He who taketh the Plunge Remember to return it by Tuesday.

OUTCONERR Twas FORTRAN as the doloop goes Did logzerneg...
OUTCONERR Twas FORTRAN as the doloop goes Did logzerneg the ifthen block All kludgy were the function flows And subroutines adhoc. Beware the runtime-bug my friend squrooneg, the false goto Beware the infiniteloop...