Humor: Best of Fortunes for Tuesday December 1, 2015

There once was a man from Nantucket, Whose cock was so long...
There once was a man from Nantucket, Whose cock was so long he could suck it. He said with a grin, As he wiped off his chin, If my ear were a cunt I could fuck it!

There was a young lady named Bright Who could travel much...
There was a young lady named Bright Who could travel much faster than light. She took off one day, In a relative way, And returned on the previous night.

There was a young man from Bombay Who fashioned a cunt out...
There was a young man from Bombay Who fashioned a cunt out of clay But the heat of his prick Turned it into a brick And rubbed all his foreskin away.

Nobody shot me. -- Frank Gusenberg, his last...
Nobody shot me. -- Frank Gusenberg, his last words, when asked by police who had shot him 14 times with a machine gun in the Saint Valentine's Day Massacre.

Step back, unbelievers! Or the rain will never come. Somebody...
Step back, unbelievers! Or the rain will never come. Somebody keep the fire burning, someone come and beat the drum. You may think I'm crazy, you may think that I'm insane, But I swear to you, before this day is out, you folks are gonna see some...