Humor: Worst of Fortunes for Friday January 24, 2014

There once was a man from Nantucket Whose dick was so long...
There once was a man from Nantucket Whose dick was so long he could suck it. He said with a grin As he wiped off his chin, "If my ear was a cunt, I could fuck it."

There once was a man from Sandem Who was making his girl on...
There once was a man from Sandem Who was making his girl on a tandem. At the peak of the make She jammed on the brake And scattered his semen at random.

There was a young man from Racine Who invented a fucking...
There was a young man from Racine Who invented a fucking machine. Concave or convex, It served either sex, But oh what a bitch to keep clean.

Sometimes I live in the country, And sometimes I live...
Sometimes I live in the country, And sometimes I live in town. And sometimes I have a great notion, To jump in the river and drown.

Sometimes the light's all shining on me, Other times I...
Sometimes the light's all shining on me, Other times I can barely see. Lately it occurs to me What a long strange trip it's been. -- The Grateful Dead, "American Beauty"