Humor: Worst of Fortunes for Saturday February 18, 2017

There was a young lady from Wooster Who complained that...
There was a young lady from Wooster Who complained that too many men gooster. So she traded her scanties For sandpaper panties, Now they goose her much less than they used 'ter.

Warning: Listening to WXRT on April Fools' Day is...
Warning: Listening to WXRT on April Fools' Day is not recommended for those who are slightly disoriented the first few hours after waking up. -- Chicago Reader 4/22/83

Of all men's miseries, the bitterest is this: to know so much...
Of all men's miseries, the bitterest is this: to know so much and have control over nothing. -- Herodotus

Once the toothpaste is out of the tube, it's hard to get...
Once the toothpaste is out of the tube, it's hard to get it back in. -- H.R. Haldeman

One learns to itch where one can scratch. --...
One learns to itch where one can scratch. -- Ernest Bramah