Humor: Worst of Fortunes for the month of February, 2017

There once was a man named McSweeny Who spilled some raw gin...
There once was a man named McSweeny Who spilled some raw gin on his weeny. Just to be couth, He added vermouth, And slipped his girlfriend a martini.

There once was a young man from France Who waited ten years...
There once was a young man from France Who waited ten years for his chance; Then he muffed it...

We are not a loved organization, but we are a respected one...
We are not a loved organization, but we are a respected one. -- John Fisher

A do-it-yourselfer named Alice, Used a dynamite stick for...
A do-it-yourselfer named Alice, Used a dynamite stick for a phallus. She blew her vagina To South Carolina, And her tits landed somewhere in Dallas. A cute friend of hers, Fanny Hill, Used two dynamite sticks for a dil. They...

A farmer I know named O'Doole Had a long and incredible tool...
A farmer I know named O'Doole Had a long and incredible tool. He can use it to plow, Or to diddle a cow, Or just as a cue-stick at pool.

A fellatrix's healthful condition Proved the value of spunk...
A fellatrix's healthful condition Proved the value of spunk as nutrition. Her remarkable diet (I suggest that you try it) Was only her clients' emission.

There once was a girl from Madras Who had such a beautiful...
There once was a girl from Madras Who had such a beautiful ass - It was not round and pink ( as you bastards think ) But had two ears, a tail, and ate grass.

There once was a girl from Spokane, Went to bed with...
There once was a girl from Spokane, Went to bed with a one-legged man. She said, "I know you-- You've really got two! Why didn't you say so when we began?"

There once was a girl named Louise Who cunt hair hung down...
There once was a girl named Louise Who cunt hair hung down to her knees The crabs in her twat Tied the hairs in a knot And constructed a flying trapeze

There once was a maid from Mobile Whose cunt was made of blue...
There once was a maid from Mobile Whose cunt was made of blue steel. She only got thrills From pneumatic drills And an off-centered emery wheel.