Humor: Worst of Fortunes for the month of August, 2017

There once was a man from Nantucket Whose dick was so long...
There once was a man from Nantucket Whose dick was so long he could suck it. He said with a grin As he wiped off his chin, "If my ear was a cunt, I could fuck it."

There once was a reverend at Kings Whose mind 'twas on heavenly...
There once was a reverend at Kings Whose mind 'twas on heavenly things. But his heart was on fire For a boy in the choir Whose buns were like jelly on springs.

There was a young man of Devizes Whose balls were of different...
There was a young man of Devizes Whose balls were of different sizes. His tool when at ease, Hung down to his knees, Oh, what must it be when it rises!

Always the dullness of the fool is the whetstone of the wits...
Always the dullness of the fool is the whetstone of the wits. -- William Shakespeare, "As You Like It"

America is a melting pot. You know, where those on the bottom...
America is a melting pot. You know, where those on the bottom get burned, and the scum rises to the top. -- Utah Phillips

I used to have a drinking problem. Now I love the stuff.
I used to have a drinking problem. Now I love the stuff.

Q: Why did the astrophysicist order three hamburgers? A: ...
Q: Why did the astrophysicist order three hamburgers? A: Because he was hungry.

A certain young person of Ghent, Uncertain if lady or gent, ...
A certain young person of Ghent, Uncertain if lady or gent, Shows his organs at large For a small handling charge To assist him in paying the rent.

A vengeful technician named Schmitz Caused a disk drive to...
A vengeful technician named Schmitz Caused a disk drive to go on the fritz. He covered the platter With bats' fecal matter. Now it's seek time is really the pits.

A very odd pair are the Pitts: His balls are as large as...
A very odd pair are the Pitts: His balls are as large as her tits, Her tits are as large As an invasion barge-- Neither knows how the other cohabits.