Humor: Best of Fortunes for Sunday September 10, 2006

God instructs the heart, not by ideas, but by pains...
God instructs the heart, not by ideas, but by pains and contradictions. -- De Caussade

God instructs the heart, not by ideas, but by pains...
God instructs the heart, not by ideas, but by pains and contradictions. -- De Caussade

Hummingbirds never remember the words to songs.
Hummingbirds never remember the words to songs.

Man is the best computer we can put aboard a spacecraft...
Man is the best computer we can put aboard a spacecraft... and the only one that can be mass produced with unskilled labor. -- Wernher von Braun

All this time I've been VIEWING a RUSSIAN MIDGET SODOMIZE...
All this time I've been VIEWING a RUSSIAN MIDGET SODOMIZE a HOUSECAT!

We all agree on the necessity of compromise. We just can't...
We all agree on the necessity of compromise. We just can't agree on when it's necessary to compromise. -- Larry Wall

If pregnancy were a book they would cut the last two chapters...
If pregnancy were a book they would cut the last two chapters. -- Nora Ephron, "Heartburn"

A bad marriage is like a horse with a broken leg, you...
A bad marriage is like a horse with a broken leg, you can shoot the horse, but it don't fix the leg.

It's a funny thing that when a woman hasn't got anything...
It's a funny thing that when a woman hasn't got anything on earth to worry about, she goes off and gets married.

To add insult to injury. -- Phaedrus
To add insult to injury. -- Phaedrus

As I was going up Punch Card Hill, Feeling worse...
As I was going up Punch Card Hill, Feeling worse and worser, There I met a C.R.T. And it drop't me a cursor. C.R.T., C.R.T., Phosphors light on you! If I had fifty hours a day I'd spend them all at you. --...

Yea from the table of my memory I'll wipe away all trivial fond...
Yea from the table of my memory I'll wipe away all trivial fond records. -- Hamlet