Humor: Best of Fortunes for Thursday July 31, 2014

A cannibal warrior is experiencing severe gastric distress,...
A cannibal warrior is experiencing severe gastric distress, so he goes to his Village Witch Doctor with his complaint. The VWD examines him and, concluding that something he ate disagreed with him, began to cross examine him about his recent diet...

Ashes to ashes, dust to dust, If God won't have you, the devil...
Ashes to ashes, dust to dust, If God won't have you, the devil must.

There was an old whore in the Azores Whose body was covered...
There was an old whore in the Azores Whose body was covered with festers & sores. Why the dogs in the street Wouldn't eat the green meat That hung in festoons from her drawers.

The Great Movie Posters: SHE TOOK ON A WHOLE GANG! A howling...
The Great Movie Posters: SHE TOOK ON A WHOLE GANG! A howling hellcat humping a hot steel hog on a roaring rampage of revenge! -- Bury Me an Angel (1972) WHAT'S THE SECRET INGREDIENT USED BY THE MAD BUTCHER FOR HIS SUPERB SAUSAGES? ...

If mathematically you end up with the wrong answer,...
If mathematically you end up with the wrong answer, try multiplying by the page number.