Humor: Best of Fortunes for Monday June 1, 2015

"Lines that are parallel meet at Infinity!" Euclid...
"Lines that are parallel meet at Infinity!" Euclid repeatedly, heatedly, urged. Until he died, and so reached that vicinity: in it he found that the damned things diverged. -- Piet Hein

He who slings mud loses ground. -- Chinese...
He who slings mud loses ground. -- Chinese Proverb

You'll never see all the places, or read all the books,...
You'll never see all the places, or read all the books, but fortunately, they're not all recommended.

There once were two brothers named Luntz Who buggered each...
There once were two brothers named Luntz Who buggered each other at once. When asked to account For this intricate mount, They said, "Ass-holes are tighter than cunts."

"MSDOS didn't get as bad as it is overnight -- it took...
"MSDOS didn't get as bad as it is overnight -- it took over ten years of careful development." (By dmeggins@aix1.uottawa.ca)

"Never make any mistaeks." (Anonymous, in a mail...
"Never make any mistaeks." (Anonymous, in a mail discussion about to a kernel bug report.)

In most countries selling harmful things like drugs...
In most countries selling harmful things like drugs is punishable. Then howcome people can sell Microsoft software and go unpunished? (By hasku@rost.abo.fi, Hasse Skrifvars)

Microsoft is not the answer. Microsoft is the question. NO (or...
Microsoft is not the answer. Microsoft is the question. NO (or Linux) is the answer. (Taken from a .signature from someone from the UK, source unknown)

linux: because a PC is a terrible thing...
linux: because a PC is a terrible thing to waste (ksh@cis.ufl.edu put this on Tshirts in '93)

lp1 on fire (One of the more obfuscated kernel messages)
lp1 on fire (One of the more obfuscated kernel messages)

A diplomatic husband said to his wife, "How do you expect...
A diplomatic husband said to his wife, "How do you expect me to remember your birthday when you never look any older?"

Life sucks, but death doesn't put out at all...
Life sucks, but death doesn't put out at all. -- Thomas J. Kopp