Humor: Best of Fortunes for the month of January, 2025

"Death is nature's way of saying `Howdy'".
"Death is nature's way of saying `Howdy'".

"If you ever want to get anywhere in politics, my boy,...
"If you ever want to get anywhere in politics, my boy, you're going to have to get a toehold in the public eye."

ACHTUNG!!! Das machine is nicht fur gefingerpoken...
ACHTUNG!!! Das machine is nicht fur gefingerpoken und mittengrabben. Ist easy schnappen der springenwerk, blowenfusen und corkenpoppen mit spitzensparken. Ist nicht fur gewerken by das dummkopfen. Das rubbernecken sightseeren keepen hands in...

AMAZING BUT TRUE ... If all the salmon caught in Canada in...
AMAZING BUT TRUE ... If all the salmon caught in Canada in one year were laid end to end across the Sahara Desert, the smell would be absolutely awful.

Another Glitch in the Call ------- ------ --...
Another Glitch in the Call ------- ------ -- --- ---- (Sung to the tune of a recent Pink Floyd song.) We don't need no indirection We don't need no flow control No data typing or declarations Did you leave the lists alone? ...

Gimmie That Old Time Religion We will follow Zarathustra, ...
Gimmie That Old Time Religion We will follow Zarathustra, We will worship like the Druids, Zarathustra like we use to, Dancing naked in the woods, I'm a Zarathustra booster, Drinking strange fermented fluids, And he's...

Hummingbirds never remember the words to songs.
Hummingbirds never remember the words to songs.

Old programmers never die. They just branch to a new address.
Old programmers never die. They just branch to a new address.

THE STORY OF CREATION or ...
THE STORY OF CREATION or THE MYTH OF URK In the beginning there was data. The data was without form and null, and darkness was upon the face of the console; and the Spirit of IBM was moving over...