Humor: Best of Fortunes for Monday June 29, 2015

Never buy from a rich salesman. -- Goldenstern
Never buy from a rich salesman. -- Goldenstern

An organist playing in York Had a prick that could hold a small...
An organist playing in York Had a prick that could hold a small fork, And between obbligatos He'd munch at tomatoes, To keep up his strength while at work.

There was a young poet named Dan, Whose poetry never would...
There was a young poet named Dan, Whose poetry never would scan. When told this was so, He said, "Yes, I know, It's because I try to put every possible syllable into that last line that I can."

There was a young royal marine, Who tried to fart "God...
There was a young royal marine, Who tried to fart "God Save the Queen". When he reached the soprano Out came only guano And his britches weren't fit to be seen.

Ladies and Gentlemen, Hobos and Tramps, Cross-eyed mosquitos...
Ladies and Gentlemen, Hobos and Tramps, Cross-eyed mosquitos and bowlegged ants, I come before you to stand behind you To tell you of something I know nothing about. Next Thursday (which is good Friday), There will be a convention held in the Women's...

Two men looked out from the prison bars, One saw mud-- ...
Two men looked out from the prison bars, One saw mud-- The other saw stars. Now let me get this right: two prisoners are looking out the window. While one of them was looking at all the mud -- the other one got hit in the head.