Humor: Best of Fortunes for Thursday September 15, 2016

Gimmie That Old Time Religion We will follow Zarathustra, ...
Gimmie That Old Time Religion We will follow Zarathustra, We will worship like the Druids, Zarathustra like we use to, Dancing naked in the woods, I'm a Zarathustra booster, Drinking strange fermented fluids, And he's...

William Safire's Rules for Writers: Remember to never split...
William Safire's Rules for Writers: Remember to never split an infinitive. The passive voice should never be used. Do not put statements in the negative form. Verbs have to agree with their subjects. Proofread carefully to see if you words out...

There was a young girl who begat Three babies named Nat,...
There was a young girl who begat Three babies named Nat, Pat and Tat. T'was fun in the breeding But hell in the feeding When she found there's no tit for Tat.

It's no use crying over spilt milk -- it only makes it salty...
It's no use crying over spilt milk -- it only makes it salty for the cat.

When man calls an animal "vicious", he usually means...
When man calls an animal "vicious", he usually means that it will attempt to defend itself when he tries to kill it.

Let us treat men and women well; Treat them as if they were...
Let us treat men and women well; Treat them as if they were real; Perhaps they are. -- Ralph Waldo Emerson