Humor: Best of Fortunes for Tuesday September 20, 2016

There was an old man of Hong Kong Who never did anything...
There was an old man of Hong Kong Who never did anything wrong. He would lie on his back With his head in a sack And secretly finger his dong.

"Never make any mistaeks." (Anonymous, in a mail...
"Never make any mistaeks." (Anonymous, in a mail discussion about to a kernel bug report.)

'Mounten' wird fuer drei Dinge benutzt: 'Aufsitzen' auf Pferde,...
'Mounten' wird fuer drei Dinge benutzt: 'Aufsitzen' auf Pferde, 'einklinken' von Festplatten in Dateisysteme, und, nun, 'besteigen' beim Sex. (Christa Keil in a German posting: "Mounting is used for three things: climbing on a horse, linking in...

The boy stood on the burning deck, Eating peanuts by...
The boy stood on the burning deck, Eating peanuts by the peck. His father called him, but he could not go, For he loved those peanuts so.

We've tried each spinning space mote And reckoned its true...
We've tried each spinning space mote And reckoned its true worth: Take us back again to the homes of men On the cool, green hills of Earth. The arching sky is calling Spacemen back to their trade. All hands! Standby! Free falling! And the lights below...