Humor: Worst of Fortunes for Tuesday August 25, 2015

There once was a girl from Cornell Whose teats were shaped like...
There once was a girl from Cornell Whose teats were shaped like a bell. When you touched them they shrunk, Except when she was drunk, And then they got bigger than hell.

There once was a young man from Boston Who drove around town...
There once was a young man from Boston Who drove around town in an Austin, There was room for his ass, And a gallon of gas, So he hung out his balls and he lost 'em.