Humor: Worst of Fortunes for the month of February, 2015

A daredevil skater named Lowe, Leaps barrels arranged in...
A daredevil skater named Lowe, Leaps barrels arranged in the snow, But is proudest of doing, Some incredible screwing, Since he's jumped thirteen girls in a row!

There once was a man from Nantucket Who kept all his cash in...
There once was a man from Nantucket Who kept all his cash in a bucket. His daughter, named Nan, Ran away with a man, And as for the bucket, Nantucket. The pair of them went to Manhasset, (Nan and the man with the asset.)...

There once was a man named McGruder, Who canoed with a girl...
There once was a man named McGruder, Who canoed with a girl in Bermuder. But the girl thought it crude, To be wooed in the nude, So McGru took an oar and subduder.

ACHTUNG!!! Das machine is nicht fur gefingerpoken...
ACHTUNG!!! Das machine is nicht fur gefingerpoken und mittengrabben. Ist easy schnappen der springenwerk, blowenfusen und corkenpoppen mit spitzensparken. Ist nicht fur gewerken by das dummkopfen. Das rubbernecken sightseeren keepen hands in...

AMAZING BUT TRUE ... There is so much sand in Northern Africa...
AMAZING BUT TRUE ... There is so much sand in Northern Africa that if it were spread out it would completely cover the Sahara Desert.

Among all savage beasts, none is found so harmful as woman...
Among all savage beasts, none is found so harmful as woman. -- St. John Chrysostom, 304-407.

May those that love us love us; and those that don't love us,...
May those that love us love us; and those that don't love us, may God turn their hearts; and if he doesn't turn their hearts, may he turn their ankles so we'll know them by their limping.

Show your affection, which will probably meet with pleasant...
Show your affection, which will probably meet with pleasant response.

A dreary young bank clerk named Fennis Wished to foster an aura...
A dreary young bank clerk named Fennis Wished to foster an aura of menace. To make people afraid He wore gloves of grey suede And white footgear intended for tennis. -- Edward Gorey, "Amphigorey"

A hacker who screwed a mag tape Was caught and convicted...
A hacker who screwed a mag tape Was caught and convicted of rape. To jail he did go, From which, to his woe He couldn't get out with ESC.