Humor: Worst of Fortunes for the month of September, 2015

There once was a man from Nantucket Who kept all his cash in...
There once was a man from Nantucket Who kept all his cash in a bucket. His daughter, named Nan, Ran away with a man, And as for the bucket, Nantucket. The pair of them went to Manhasset, (Nan and the man with the asset.)...

There once was a man from Nantucket Whose dick was so long...
There once was a man from Nantucket Whose dick was so long he could suck it. He said with a grin As he wiped off his chin, "If my ear was a cunt, I could fuck it."

There once was a man from Nantucket, Whose cock was so long...
There once was a man from Nantucket, Whose cock was so long he could suck it. He said with a grin, As he wiped off his chin, If my ear were a cunt I could fuck it!

ACHTUNG!!! Das machine is nicht fur gefingerpoken...
ACHTUNG!!! Das machine is nicht fur gefingerpoken und mittengrabben. Ist easy schnappen der springenwerk, blowenfusen und corkenpoppen mit spitzensparken. Ist nicht fur gewerken by das dummkopfen. Das rubbernecken sightseeren keepen hands in...

Eat drink and be merry, for tomorrow they may make it illegal.
Eat drink and be merry, for tomorrow they may make it illegal.

I was born because it was a habit in those days, people didn't...
I was born because it was a habit in those days, people didn't know anything else ... I was not a Child Prodigy, because a Child Prodigy is a child who knows as much when it is a child as it does when it grows up. -- Will Rogers

Your lucky number is 3552664958674928. Watch for it everywhere.
Your lucky number is 3552664958674928. Watch for it everywhere.

May you die in bed at 95, shot by a jealous spouse.
May you die in bed at 95, shot by a jealous spouse.

There once was a girl named Mcgoffin Who was diddled amazingly...
There once was a girl named Mcgoffin Who was diddled amazingly often. She was rogered by scores Who'd been turned down by whores, And was finally screwed in her coffin.

There once was a man from Dunoon, Who always ate soup with...
There once was a man from Dunoon, Who always ate soup with a fork. He said "When I eat Either fish, foul or flesh, I otherwise finish too quick."