Humor: Worst of Fortunes for Monday August 24, 2015

There once was a man named Lodge, who had seatbelts installed...
There once was a man named Lodge, who had seatbelts installed in his Dodge. When his date was strapped in, He committed a sin, without ever leaving the garage.

There was a young fellow named Sweeney, Whose girl was...
There was a young fellow named Sweeney, Whose girl was a terrible meanie, The hatch of her snatch, Had a catch that would latch, She could only be screwed by Houdini.

There was a young lady of Gloucester Whose friends they thought...
There was a young lady of Gloucester Whose friends they thought they had lost her Till they found on the grass The marks of her arse, And the knees of the man who had crossed her.

There was an old hermit named Dave Who kept a dead whore in...
There was an old hermit named Dave Who kept a dead whore in his cave. He said "I'll admit I'm a bit of a shit, But look at the money I save."