Humor: Worst of Fortunes for the month of November, 2018

There once was a man named McGruder, Who canoed with a girl...
There once was a man named McGruder, Who canoed with a girl in Bermuder. But the girl thought it crude, To be wooed in the nude, So McGru took an oar and subduder.

There was a young lad - name of Durcan Who was always jerkin'...
There was a young lad - name of Durcan Who was always jerkin' his gherkin. His father said, "Durcan Stop jerkin' your gherkin Your gherkin's for ferkin', not jerkin'.

There was a young man from Kent Whose tool was so long that...
There was a young man from Kent Whose tool was so long that it bent. To save himself trouble He put it in double And instead of coming, he went.

Due to circumstances beyond your control, you are master...
Due to circumstances beyond your control, you are master of your fate and captain of your soul.

Know what I hate most? Rhetorical questions...
Know what I hate most? Rhetorical questions. -- Henry N. Camp

Lavish spending can be disastrous. Don't buy any lavishes for...
Lavish spending can be disastrous. Don't buy any lavishes for a while.

Lisp, Lisp, Lisp Machine, Lisp Machine is Fun. Lisp, Lisp, Lisp...
Lisp, Lisp, Lisp Machine, Lisp Machine is Fun. Lisp, Lisp, Lisp Machine, Fun for everyone.

A clerical student named Pryne Through pain sought to reach...
A clerical student named Pryne Through pain sought to reach the divine: He wore a hair shirt, Quite often ate dirt, And bathed every Friday in brine. -- Edward Gorey

A pious young lady of Chichester Made all of the saints...
A pious young lady of Chichester Made all of the saints in their niches stir And each morning at matin Her breast in pink satin Made the bishop of Chichester's breeches stir.

A team playing baseball in Dallas Called te umpire blind out...
A team playing baseball in Dallas Called te umpire blind out of malice. While this worthy had fits The team made eight hits And a girl in the bleachers named Alice.