Humor: Worst of Fortunes for the month of May, 2018

ACHTUNG!!! Das machine is nicht fur gefingerpoken...
ACHTUNG!!! Das machine is nicht fur gefingerpoken und mittengrabben. Ist easy schnappen der springenwerk, blowenfusen und corkenpoppen mit spitzensparken. Ist nicht fur gewerken by das dummkopfen. Das rubbernecken sightseeren keepen hands in...

There once was a man from Madras, Whose balls were made out...
There once was a man from Madras, Whose balls were made out of brass. When they clanged together, They played "Stormy Weather", And lightning shot out of his ass.

There once was a man from Nantucket Whose dick was so long...
There once was a man from Nantucket Whose dick was so long he could suck it. He said with a grin As he wiped off his chin, "If my ear was a cunt, I could fuck it."

There once was a man with a hernia Who said to his doctor,...
There once was a man with a hernia Who said to his doctor, "Gol dern ya, When you work on my middle Be sure you don't fiddle With things that do not concern ya."

There was a young man from Peru, Who took a long trip...
There was a young man from Peru, Who took a long trip by canoe. While staring at Venus, And rubbing his penis, He wound up with a handful of goo.

There was an old man of Tagore Whose tool was a yard long...
There was an old man of Tagore Whose tool was a yard long or more, So he wore the damn thing In a surgical sling To keep it from wiping the floor.

While Titian was mixing rose madder, His model reclined on...
While Titian was mixing rose madder, His model reclined on a ladder. Her position to Titian Suggested coition, So he leapt up the ladder and had 'er.

Committee, n.: A group of men who individually can...
Committee, n.: A group of men who individually can do nothing but as a group decide that nothing can be done. -- Fred Allen

Computer programmers do it byte by byte.
Computer programmers do it byte by byte.

Grinnell's Law of Labor Laxity: At all times, for...
Grinnell's Law of Labor Laxity: At all times, for any task, you have not got enough done today.