Humor: Worst of Fortunes for the month of September, 2018

A clerical student named Pryne Through pain sought to reach...
A clerical student named Pryne Through pain sought to reach the divine: He wore a hair shirt, Quite often ate dirt, And bathed every Friday in brine. -- Edward Gorey

There once was a lady from Exeter, So pretty that men craned...
There once was a lady from Exeter, So pretty that men craned their necks at her. One was even so brave As to take out and wave The distinguishing mark of his sex at her.

There once was a man from Calcutta Who used to beat off in...
There once was a man from Calcutta Who used to beat off in the gutta The heat of the sun Affected his gun And turned all his cream into butta!

There once was a queen of Bulgaria Whose bush had grown hairier...
There once was a queen of Bulgaria Whose bush had grown hairier and hairier, Till a prince from Peru Who came up for a screw Had to hunt for her cunt with a terrier.

There was a young man from Maine Whose prick was as strong as...
There was a young man from Maine Whose prick was as strong as a crane; It was almost as long, So he strolled with his dong Extended in sunshine and rain.

There was a young man from Rangoon Who used to lament 'neath...
There was a young man from Rangoon Who used to lament 'neath the moon That he had the luck To be born of a fuck That was scraped off the sheets with a spoon.

There was an old man from Bengal Who liked to do tricks in...
There was an old man from Bengal Who liked to do tricks in the hall. His favorite trick Was to stand on his dick While he rolled around on one ball.

ACHTUNG!!! Das machine is nicht fur gefingerpoken...
ACHTUNG!!! Das machine is nicht fur gefingerpoken und mittengrabben. Ist easy schnappen der springenwerk, blowenfusen und corkenpoppen mit spitzensparken. Ist nicht fur gewerken by das dummkopfen. Das rubbernecken sightseeren keepen hands in...

If we can ever make red tape nutritional, we can feed...
If we can ever make red tape nutritional, we can feed the world. -- R. Schaeberle, "Management Accounting"

You'll feel devilish tonight. Toss dynamite caps under...
You'll feel devilish tonight. Toss dynamite caps under a flamenco dancer's heel.