Humor: Worst of Fortunes for Sunday February 3, 2019

A sex-loving coed named Bree Caught the clap from her Apple...
A sex-loving coed named Bree Caught the clap from her Apple IIE. The joystick, she found, Had been fooling around With a neighboring student's PC.

There once was a Duchess of Beever Who slept with her golden...
There once was a Duchess of Beever Who slept with her golden retriever. Said the potted old Duke : "Such tricks make me puke! Were it not for her money, I'd leave her."

I was eatin' some chop suey, With a lady in St. Louie, When...
I was eatin' some chop suey, With a lady in St. Louie, When there sudden comes a knockin' at the door. And that knocker, he says, "Honey, Roll this rocker out some money, Or your daddy shoots a baddie to the floor." -- Mr. Miggle