Humor: Worst of Fortunes for the month of July, 2019

There once was a man named Lodge, who had seatbelts installed...
There once was a man named Lodge, who had seatbelts installed in his Dodge. When his date was strapped in, He committed a sin, without ever leaving the garage.

There once was a young man from France Who waited ten years...
There once was a young man from France Who waited ten years for his chance; Then he muffed it...

There was a young man from Kent Whose tool was so long that...
There was a young man from Kent Whose tool was so long that it bent. To save himself trouble He put it in double And instead of coming, he went.

There was a young man from Peru, Who took a long trip...
There was a young man from Peru, Who took a long trip by canoe. While staring at Venus, And rubbing his penis, He wound up with a handful of goo.

There was a young man of Devizes, Whose balls were of different...
There was a young man of Devizes, Whose balls were of different sizes. One was so small, It was nothing at all; The other took numerous prizes.

There was a young plumber named Lee Who was plumbing his girl...
There was a young plumber named Lee Who was plumbing his girl by the sea. She said, "Stop your plumbing, There's somebody coming" Said the plumber, still plumbing, "It's me."

New systems generate new problems.
New systems generate new problems.

Your lucky number is 3552664958674928. Watch for it everywhere.
Your lucky number is 3552664958674928. Watch for it everywhere.

A clever young man named Eugene Invented a jack-off machine...
A clever young man named Eugene Invented a jack-off machine. On the twenty-third stroke The fuckin' thing broke And beat both his balls to a creame.

A clever young man named Eugene Invented a jack-off machine...
A clever young man named Eugene Invented a jack-off machine. On the twenty-third stroke The goddam thing broke And beat both his balls to a creame.