Humor: Worst of Fortunes for the month of December, 2019

A cocksucking steno named Beeman Remarked as she swallowed...
A cocksucking steno named Beeman Remarked as she swallowed my semen : "On my minuscule salary I must watch every calorie, So I get `ahead' eating you he-men!"

There once was a man named McSweeny Who spilled lots of gin...
There once was a man named McSweeny Who spilled lots of gin on his weeney So just to be couth He added vermouth And slipped his best girl a martini.

There once was a man with a hernia Who said to his doctor,...
There once was a man with a hernia Who said to his doctor, "Gol dern ya, When you work on my middle Be sure you don't fiddle With things that do not concern ya."

There was a young man from Kent Whose tool was so long that...
There was a young man from Kent Whose tool was so long that it bent. To save himself trouble He put it in double And instead of coming, he went.

The one L lama, he's a priest The two L llama, he's a beast...
The one L lama, he's a priest The two L llama, he's a beast And I will bet my silk pyjama There isn't any three L lllama. -- O. Nash, to which a fire chief replied that occasionally his department responded to something...

ACHTUNG!!! Das machine is nicht fur gefingerpoken...
ACHTUNG!!! Das machine is nicht fur gefingerpoken und mittengrabben. Ist easy schnappen der springenwerk, blowenfusen und corkenpoppen mit spitzensparken. Ist nicht fur gewerken by das dummkopfen. Das rubbernecken sightseeren keepen hands in...

A do-it-yourselfer named Alice, Used a dynamite stick for...
A do-it-yourselfer named Alice, Used a dynamite stick for a phallus. She blew her vagina To South Carolina, And her tits landed somewhere in Dallas. A cute friend of hers, Fanny Hill, Used two dynamite sticks for a dil. They...

A foolish geologist from Kissen Just didn't know what he...
A foolish geologist from Kissen Just didn't know what he was missin', By studying rock And neglecting his cock, And using it merely for pissin'.

A german composer named Bruckner Remarked to a lady while...
A german composer named Bruckner Remarked to a lady while fuckener : "Less lento, my dear, With your cute little rear; I like a hot presto when muckener!"

A newlywed couple from Goshen Spent their honeymoon sailing...
A newlywed couple from Goshen Spent their honeymoon sailing the ocean. In twenty-eight days They got laid eighty ways -- Imagine such fucking devotion!