Humor: Worst of Fortunes for the month of September, 2019

There once was a man from Nantucket, Whose cock was so long...
There once was a man from Nantucket, Whose cock was so long he could suck it. He said with a grin, As he wiped off his chin, If my ear were a cunt I could fuck it!

There once were two women from Birmingham. And this is...
There once were two women from Birmingham. And this is the story concerning 'em. They lifted the frock And fondled the cock Of the bishop as he was confirming 'em.

There was a bluestocking in Florence Wrote anti-sex pamphlets...
There was a bluestocking in Florence Wrote anti-sex pamphlets in torrents, Till a Spanish grandee, Got her off with his knee, And she burned all her works with abhorrence.

There was a young man from Kent Whose tool was so long that...
There was a young man from Kent Whose tool was so long that it bent. To save himself trouble He put it in double And instead of coming, he went.

There was a young man of Bengal Who swore he had only...
There was a young man of Bengal Who swore he had only one ball, But two little bitches Unbuttoned his britches, And found he had no balls at all.

There was a young man of Cape Horn Who wished he had never been...
There was a young man of Cape Horn Who wished he had never been born, And he wouldn't have been If his father had seen That the end of the rubber was torn.

Your lucky number is 3552664958674928. Watch for it everywhere.
Your lucky number is 3552664958674928. Watch for it everywhere.

A charmer from old Amarillo, Sick of finding strange heads...
A charmer from old Amarillo, Sick of finding strange heads on her pillow, Decided one day That to keep men away She would stuff up her crevice with Brillo.

A fellatrix's healthful condition Proved the value of spunk...
A fellatrix's healthful condition Proved the value of spunk as nutrition. Her remarkable diet (I suggest that you try it) Was only her clients' emission.

A lacklustre lady of Brougham Weaveth all night at her loom...
A lacklustre lady of Brougham Weaveth all night at her loom. Anon she doth blench When her lord and his wench Pull a chain in the neighbouring room.