Humor: Worst of Fortunes for Saturday December 24, 2022

There once was a guardsman from Buckingham Who said, "As...
There once was a guardsman from Buckingham Who said, "As for girls, I hate fucking 'em. But when I meet boys, God! how I enjoys Just licking their peckers and sucking 'em."

There was a young lady named Alice Who was known to have peed...
There was a young lady named Alice Who was known to have peed in a chalice. 'Twas the common belief It was done for relief, And not out of protestant malice.

There was a young lady named Banker, Who slept while the ship...
There was a young lady named Banker, Who slept while the ship lay at anchor, She woke in dismay, When she heard the mate say, "Now hoist up the topsheet and spanker."

There was a young lady named Bright Who could travel much...
There was a young lady named Bright Who could travel much faster than light. She took off one day, In a relative way, And returned on the previous night.

There was a young lady of Lincoln Who said that her cunt was...
There was a young lady of Lincoln Who said that her cunt was a pink'un, So she had a prick lent her Which turned it magenta, This artful old lady of Lincoln.

There was a young man of Calcutta, Who tried to write...
There was a young man of Calcutta, Who tried to write "cunt" on a shutter. When he got to c-u, A pious Hindoo Knocked him ass-over-head in the gutter.