Humor: Worst of Fortunes for Friday September 29, 2023

There was a young lady from Troy Had a moustache, just like...
There was a young lady from Troy Had a moustache, just like a young boy Though it tickled to kiss 'Twas a source of much bliss When she used it to brush a man's toy.

A beautiful lady named Psyche Is loved by a fellow named Ikey...
A beautiful lady named Psyche Is loved by a fellow named Ikey. One thing about Ike The lady can't like Is his prick, which is dreadfully spikey.

A hidebound young virgin named Carrie Would say, when...
A hidebound young virgin named Carrie Would say, when the fellows got hairy : "Keep your prick in your pants Till the end of this dance--" Which is why Carrie still has her cherry.

A pretty young lady named Vogel Once sat herself down on...
A pretty young lady named Vogel Once sat herself down on a molehill. A curious mole Nosed into her hole -- Ms. Vogel's ok, but the mole's ill.

There once was a spaceman named Spock Who had a huge Vulcanized...
There once was a spaceman named Spock Who had a huge Vulcanized cock. A girl from Missouri Whose name was Uhura Just fainted away from the shock.

There was a young lad name of Ward Who strung himself up with...
There was a young lad name of Ward Who strung himself up with a cord Said he, of his work (Ere the rope snapped with a jerk) "I am leaving because I am bored." - E.A. Guest

Alcohol, hashish, prussic acid, strychnine are weak dilutions...
Alcohol, hashish, prussic acid, strychnine are weak dilutions. The surest poison is time. -- Emerson, "Society and Solitude"