Humor: Worst of Fortunes for Saturday September 2, 2023

There was a young lady from Troy Had a moustache, just like...
There was a young lady from Troy Had a moustache, just like a young boy Though it tickled to kiss 'Twas a source of much bliss When she used it to brush a man's toy.

There once was a fencer named Fisk, Whose speed was incredibly...
There once was a fencer named Fisk, Whose speed was incredibly brisk. So fast was his action, The Fitzgerald contraction, Foreshortended his foil to a disk.

There was a young fellow named Hatch Who was fond of the music...
There was a young fellow named Hatch Who was fond of the music of Bach. He said: "It's not fussy Like Brahms and Debussy; Sit down, and I'll play you a snatch."

There's a dowager near Sweden Landing Whose manners are odd...
There's a dowager near Sweden Landing Whose manners are odd and demanding. It's one of her jests To suck off her guests -- She hates to keep gentlemen standing.