Humor: Worst of Fortunes for the month of September, 2007

In 1869 the waffle iron was invented for people who...
In 1869 the waffle iron was invented for people who had wrinkled waffles.

In 1880 the French captured Detroit but gave it back ... they...
In 1880 the French captured Detroit but gave it back ... they couldn't get parts.

In 1914, the first crossword puzzle was printed in a newspaper...
In 1914, the first crossword puzzle was printed in a newspaper. The creator received $4000 down ... and $3000 across.

In a five year period we can get one superb programming...
In a five year period we can get one superb programming language. Only we can't control when the five year period will begin.

In a medium in which a News Piece takes a minute and...
In a medium in which a News Piece takes a minute and an "In-Depth" Piece takes two minutes, the Simple will drive out the Complex. -- Frank Mankiewicz

A boy gets to be a man when a man is needed. --...
A boy gets to be a man when a man is needed. -- John Steinbeck

I despise the pleasure of pleasing people whom I despise.
I despise the pleasure of pleasing people whom I despise.

Never have children, only grandchildren. --...
Never have children, only grandchildren. -- Gore Vidal

Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth...
Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth. -- Erma Bombeck

Not only is UNIX dead, it's starting to smell really bad...
Not only is UNIX dead, it's starting to smell really bad. -- Rob Pike