Humor: Worst of Fortunes for the month of April, 2007

"According to the Rand McNally Places-Rated Almanac,...
"According to the Rand McNally Places-Rated Almanac, the best place to live in America is the city of Pittsburgh. The city of New York came in twenty-fifth. Here in New York we really don't care too much. Because we know that we could beat...

I think that I shall never see A billboard lovely as...
I think that I shall never see A billboard lovely as a tree. Perhaps, unless the billboards fall I'll never see a tree at all. -- Ogden Nash

To err is human, to forgive is not company policy.
To err is human, to forgive is not company policy.

Why be a man when you can be a success? --...
Why be a man when you can be a success? -- Bertolt Brecht

Why did the Lord give us so much quickness of movement unless...
Why did the Lord give us so much quickness of movement unless it was to avoid responsibility with?

An irate young lady named Booker Told her husband, "You...
An irate young lady named Booker Told her husband, "You beast, I'm no hooker! If you want it queer ways, Go to whores for your lays!" So he packed up his tool and forsook 'er.

There was a young lady of Gaza Who shaved her cunt bare with...
There was a young lady of Gaza Who shaved her cunt bare with a razor. The crabs, in a lump, Made tracks to her rump - This passing parade did amaze her.

There was a young man from Dallas Who had an exceptional...
There was a young man from Dallas Who had an exceptional phallus. He couldn't find room In any girl's womb Without rubbing it first with Vitalis.

There was a young man from Racine Who invented a fucking...
There was a young man from Racine Who invented a fucking machine. Concave or convex, It served either sex, But oh what a bitch to keep clean.

There was a young woman named Ells Who was subject to curious...
There was a young woman named Ells Who was subject to curious spells When got up very oddly, She'd cry out things ungodly by the palms in expensive hotels. -- Edward Gorey