Humor: Worst of Fortunes for the month of October, 2007

'Twas brillig, and the slithy toves And as in uffish...
'Twas brillig, and the slithy toves And as in uffish thought he stood Did gyre and gimble in the wabe. The Jabberwock, with eyes aflame All mimsy were the borogroves Came whuffling through the tulgey wood And the mome raths outgrabe...

Be free and open and breezy! Enjoy! Things won't get...
Be free and open and breezy! Enjoy! Things won't get any better so get used to it.

DELETE A FORTUNE! Don't some of these fortunes just drive...
DELETE A FORTUNE! Don't some of these fortunes just drive you nuts?! Wouldn't you like to see some of them deleted from the system? You can! Just mail to "fortune" with the fortune you hate most, and we MIGHT make sure it gets expunged.

1 bulls, 3 cows.
1 bulls, 3 cows.

Death before dishonor. But neither before breakfast.
Death before dishonor. But neither before breakfast.

I sat down beside her, said hello, offered to buy her...
I sat down beside her, said hello, offered to buy her a drink... and then natural selection reared its ugly head.

The closest to perfection a person ever comes is when they fill...
The closest to perfection a person ever comes is when they fill out a job application.

Voicless it cries, Wingless flutters, Toothless...
Voicless it cries, Wingless flutters, Toothless bites, Mouthless mutters.

We found on St. Paul's only two kinds of birds -- the booby...
We found on St. Paul's only two kinds of birds -- the booby and the noddy... Both are of a tame and stupid disposition, and are so unaccustomed to visitors, that I could have killed any number of them with my geological hammer. -- Charles...

You need no longer worry about the future. This time tomorrow...
You need no longer worry about the future. This time tomorrow you'll be dead.