Humor: Best of Fortunes for Monday November 26, 2007

Hark, the Herald Tribune sings, Advertising wondrous things...
Hark, the Herald Tribune sings, Advertising wondrous things. -- Tom Lehrer

A wonderful bird is the pelican. His mouth can hold more than...
A wonderful bird is the pelican. His mouth can hold more than his belican. He can take in his beak Enough food for a week. I'm darned if I know how the helican.

Griffin's Thought: When you starve with a tiger,...
Griffin's Thought: When you starve with a tiger, the tiger starves last.

Anybody that wants the presidency so much that he'll spend...
Anybody that wants the presidency so much that he'll spend two years organising and campaigning for it is not to be trusted with the office. -- David Broder

A pig is a jolly companion, Boar, sow, barrow, or gilt -- A...
A pig is a jolly companion, Boar, sow, barrow, or gilt -- A pig is a pal, who'll boost your morale, Though mountains may topple and tilt. When they've blackballed, bamboozled, and burned you, When they've turned on you, Tory and Whig, Though you may...

I know if you been talkin' you done said just how suprised...
I know if you been talkin' you done said just how suprised you wuz by the living dead. You wuz suprised that they could understand you words and never respond once to all the truth they heard. But don't you get square! There ain't no rule that says they...