Humor: Best of Fortunes for the month of January, 2007

A is for Amy who fell down the stairs, B is for Basil assaulted...
A is for Amy who fell down the stairs, B is for Basil assaulted by bears. C is for Clair who wasted away, D is for Desmond thrown out of the sleigh. E is for Ernest who choked on a peach, F is for Fanny, sucked dry by a leech. G is for George, smothered...

In matters of principle, stand like a rock; in matters...
In matters of principle, stand like a rock; in matters of taste, swim with the current. -- Thomas Jefferson

Nothing succeeds like success. -- Alexandre...
Nothing succeeds like success. -- Alexandre Dumas

Razors pain you; Rivers are damp; Acids stain you; And drugs...
Razors pain you; Rivers are damp; Acids stain you; And drugs cause cramp. Guns aren't lawful; Nooses give; Gas smells awful; You might as well live. -- Dorothy Parker, "Resume", 1926

Each night Father fills me with dread When he sits on the foot...
Each night Father fills me with dread When he sits on the foot of my bed; I'd not mind that he speaks In gibbers and squeaks, But for the seventeen years he's been dead. -- Edward Gorey

Absence makes the heart go wander.
Absence makes the heart go wander.

Every solution breeds new problems.
Every solution breeds new problems.

Have a nice day!
Have a nice day!

Raffiniert ist der Herrgott aber boshaft ist er nicht...
Raffiniert ist der Herrgott aber boshaft ist er nicht. -- Albert Einstein

"I have to convince you, or at least snow you ..." ...
"I have to convince you, or at least snow you ..." -- Prof. Romas Aleliunas, CS 435