Humor: Best of Fortunes for Wednesday May 21, 2014

There once was a man from Sandem Who was making his girl on...
There once was a man from Sandem Who was making his girl on a tandem. At the peak of the make She jammed on the brake And scattered his semen at random.

A computer salesman visits a company president for the purpose...
A computer salesman visits a company president for the purpose of selling the president one of the latest talking computers. Salesman: "This machine knows everything. I can ask it any quesstion and it'll give the correct...

A computer without COBOL and Fortran is like a piece...
A computer without COBOL and Fortran is like a piece of chocolate cake without ketchup and mustard.

A little retrospection shows that although many fine, useful...
A little retrospection shows that although many fine, useful software systems have been designed by committees and built as part of multipart projects, those software systems that have excited passionate fans are those that are the products of one or...

A manager was about to be fired, but a programmer who worked...
A manager was about to be fired, but a programmer who worked for him invented a new program that became popular and sold well. As a result, the manager retained his job. The manager tried to give the programmer a bonus, but...

A manager went to the master programmer and showed him...
A manager went to the master programmer and showed him the requirements document for a new application. The manager asked the master: "How long will it take to design this system if I assign five programmers to it?" "It will take...