Humor: Best of Fortunes for Wednesday March 11, 2015

I was working on a case. It had to be a case, because...
I was working on a case. It had to be a case, because I couldn't afford a desk. Then I saw her. This tall blond lady. She must have been tall because I was on the third floor. She rolled her deep blue eyes towards me. I picked them up and rolled...

If God had wanted you to go around nude, He would have given...
If God had wanted you to go around nude, He would have given you bigger hands.

There once was a man from Sydney Who could put it up to...
There once was a man from Sydney Who could put it up to her kidney. But the man from Quebec Put it up to her neck; He had a big one, now didn't he?

There was a young man from Rangoon Who used to lament 'neath...
There was a young man from Rangoon Who used to lament 'neath the moon That he had the luck To be born of a fuck That was scraped off the sheets with a spoon.

Just about the time when you think you can make ends...
Just about the time when you think you can make ends meet somebody moves the ends!

Trust everybody, but cut the cards. -- Finlay...
Trust everybody, but cut the cards. -- Finlay Peter Dunne, "Mr. Dooley's Philosophy"