Freebsd Fortunes 4

I played lead guitar in a band called The Federal Duck, which is the kind
of name that was popular in the '60s as a result of controlled substances
being in widespread use.  Back then, there were no restrictions, in terms
of talent, on who could make an album, so we made one, and it sounds like
a group of people who have been given powerful but unfamiliar instruments
as a therapy for a degenerative nerve disease.
                -- Dave Barry

I pledge allegiance to the flag
of the United States of America
and to the republic for which it stands,
one nation,
indivisible,
with liberty
and justice for all.
                -- Francis Bellamy, 1892

I poured spot remover on my dog.  Now he's gone.
                -- S. Wright

I prefer rogues to imbeciles  because they sometimes take a rest.
                -- Alexandre Dumas the Younger

I prefer the most unjust peace to the most righteous war.
                -- Cicero

Even peace may be purchased at too high a price.
                -- Poor Richard

I profoundly believe it takes a lot of practice to become a moral slob.
                -- William F. Buckley

I put contact lenses in my dog's eyes.  They had little pictures of cats
on them.  Then I took one out and he ran around in circles.
                -- Stephen Wright

I put instant coffee in my microwave oven and almost went back in time.
                -- Stephen Wright

I put the shotgun in an Adidas bag and padded it out with four pairs of
tennis socks, not my style at all, but that was what I was aiming for:  If
they think you're crude, go technical; if they think you're technical, go
crude.  I'm a very technical boy.  So I decided to get as crude as possible.
These days, though, you have to be pretty technical before you can even
aspire to crudeness.
                -- William Gibson, "Johnny Mnemonic"

I put up my thumb... and it blotted out the planet Earth.
                -- Neil Armstrong