Freebsd Fortunes 4

I never loved another person the way I loved myself.
                -- Mae West

I never made a mistake in my life.
I thought I did once, but I was wrong.
                -- Lucy Van Pelt

I never met a man I didn't want to fight.
                -- Lyle Alzado, professional football lineman

I never met a piece of chocolate I didn't like.

I never pray before meals -- my mom's a good cook.

I never said all Democrats were saloonkeepers;
what I said was all saloonkeepers were Democrats.

I never saw a purple cow
I never hope to see one
But I can tell you anyhow
I'd rather see than be one.
                -- Gellett Burgess

I've never seen a purple cow
I never hope to see one
But from the milk we're getting now
There certainly must be one
                -- Odgen Nash

Ah, yes, I wrote "The Purple Cow"
I'm sorry now I wrote it
But I can tell you anyhow
I'll kill you if you quote it.
                -- Gellett Burgess, many years later

I never take work home with me; I always leave it in some bar along the way.

I never vote for anyone.  I always vote against.
                -- W.C. Fields

I often quote myself; it adds spice to my conversation.
                -- G.B. Shaw