Humor: Worst of Fortunes for Saturday December 26, 2015

A tutor who tooted a flute Tried to tutor two tutors to toot ...
A tutor who tooted a flute Tried to tutor two tutors to toot Said the two to the tutor: "Is it harder to toot or To tutor two tutors to toot"

A vengeful technician named Schmitz Caused a disk drive to...
A vengeful technician named Schmitz Caused a disk drive to go on the fritz. He covered the platter With bats' fecal matter. Now it's seek time is really the pits.

A very odd pair are the Pitts: His balls are as large as...
A very odd pair are the Pitts: His balls are as large as her tits, Her tits are as large As an invasion barge-- Neither knows how the other cohabits.

There once was a man from Dunoon, Who always ate soup with...
There once was a man from Dunoon, Who always ate soup with a fork. He said "When I eat Either fish, foul or flesh, I otherwise finish too quick."

There was a young lady from Dumfries Who said to her boyfriend,...
There was a young lady from Dumfries Who said to her boyfriend, "It's some freeze! My navel's all bare, So stick it in there, Before both my legs and my bum freeze."

Ladles and Jellyspoons! I come before you to stand behind...
Ladles and Jellyspoons! I come before you to stand behind you, To tell you something I know nothing about. Since next Thursday will be Good Friday, There will be a fathers' meeting, for mothers only. Wear your best clothes, if you don't have any,...