Humor: Worst of Fortunes for the month of January, 2016

There once was a man from Nantucket Who kept all his cash in...
There once was a man from Nantucket Who kept all his cash in a bucket. His daughter, named Nan, Ran away with a man, And as for the bucket, Nantucket. The pair of them went to Manhasset, (Nan and the man with the asset.)...

There once was a man named McSweeny Who spilled some raw gin...
There once was a man named McSweeny Who spilled some raw gin on his weeny. Just to be couth, He added vermouth, And slipped his girlfriend a martini.

"Do not meddle in the affairs of wizards, for you...
"Do not meddle in the affairs of wizards, for you are crunchy and good with ketchup."

A budget is just a method of worrying before you spend money,...
A budget is just a method of worrying before you spend money, as well as afterward.

Do not meddle in the affairs of troff, for it is subtle...
Do not meddle in the affairs of troff, for it is subtle and quick to anger.

Meantime, in the slums below Ronnie's Ranch, Cynthia feels...
Meantime, in the slums below Ronnie's Ranch, Cynthia feels as if some one has made voodoo boxen of her and her favorite backplanes. On this fine moonlit night, some horrible persona has been jabbing away at, dragging magnets over, and surging these...

Never tell people how to do things. Tell them WHAT to do...
Never tell people how to do things. Tell them WHAT to do and they will surprise you with their ingenuity. -- Gen. George S. Patton, Jr.

QOTD: "She's about as smart as bait."
QOTD: "She's about as smart as bait."

Stability itself is nothing else than a more sluggish motion.
Stability itself is nothing else than a more sluggish motion.

Without ice cream life and fame are meaningless.
Without ice cream life and fame are meaningless.