Freebsd Fortunes

A budget is just a method of worrying before you spend money, as well
as afterward.

A candidate is a person who gets money from the rich and votes from the
poor to protect them from each other.

A celebrity is a person who is known for his well-knownness.

A child can go only so far in life without potty training.  It is not
mere coincidence that six of the last seven presidents were potty
trained, not to mention nearly half of the nation's state legislators.
                -- Dave Barry

A child of five could understand this!  Fetch me a child of five.

A chubby man with a white beard and a red suit will approach you soon.
Avoid him.  He's a Commie.

A citizen of America will cross the ocean to fight for democracy, but
won't cross the street to vote in a national election.
                -- Bill Vaughan

A city is a large community where people are lonesome together
                -- Herbert Prochnow

A classic is something that everybody wants to have read and nobody
wants to read.
                -- Mark Twain

A closed mouth gathers no foot.