Humor: Worst of Fortunes for Saturday September 8, 2018

A clerical student named Pryne Through pain sought to reach...
A clerical student named Pryne Through pain sought to reach the divine: He wore a hair shirt, Quite often ate dirt, And bathed every Friday in brine. -- Edward Gorey

A clever young man named Eugene Invented a jack-off machine...
A clever young man named Eugene Invented a jack-off machine. On the twenty-third stroke The goddam thing broke And beat both his balls to a creame.

A greedy young lady from Sidney Liked it in up to her kidney, ...
A greedy young lady from Sidney Liked it in up to her kidney, Till a man from Quebec Shoved it up to her neck-- He really diddled her, didn' he?

The party adjourned to a hot tub, yes. Fully clothed, I might...
The party adjourned to a hot tub, yes. Fully clothed, I might add. -- IBM employee, testifying in California State Supreme Court