Humor: Worst of Fortunes for Tuesday September 4, 2018

A contortionist hailing from Lynch Used to rent out his tool...
A contortionist hailing from Lynch Used to rent out his tool by the inch. A foot cost a quid -- He could and he did Stretch it to three in a pinch.

There once was a man from Sandem Who was making his girl on...
There once was a man from Sandem Who was making his girl on a tandem. At the peak of the make She jammed on the brake And scattered his semen at random.

There was a young lady who said, As her bridegroom got into...
There was a young lady who said, As her bridegroom got into the bed, "I'm tired of this stunt, That they do with one's cunt, You can get up my bottom instead."

There was an old man of St. Bees, Who was stung in the arm by...
There was an old man of St. Bees, Who was stung in the arm by a wasp. When asked, "Does it hurt?" He relied, "No, it doesn't. I'm so glad that it wasn't a hornet."