Humor: Worst of Fortunes for Tuesday October 8, 2019

A burlesque dancer, a pip Named Virginia, could peel in a zip; ...
A burlesque dancer, a pip Named Virginia, could peel in a zip; But she read science fiction And died of constriction Attempting a Moebius strip. -- Cyril Kornbluth, "The Unfortunate Topology"

There once was a man named McSweeny Who spilled lots of gin...
There once was a man named McSweeny Who spilled lots of gin on his weeney So just to be couth He added vermouth And slipped his best girl a martini.

There once was a man named McSweeny Who spilled some raw gin...
There once was a man named McSweeny Who spilled some raw gin on his weeny. Just to be couth, He added vermouth, And slipped his girlfriend a martini.

There once was a man named Parridge With peculiar views...
There once was a man named Parridge With peculiar views on marriage. He sucked off his brother, Fucked his own mother, And gobbled his sister's miscarriage.

There was a man from Mich. Who used to wish and wich...
There was a man from Mich. Who used to wish and wich. That spring would come So he could bum Around and go out fich.

There was a young lady of Lee Who scrambled up into a tree, ...
There was a young lady of Lee Who scrambled up into a tree, When she got there Her arsehole was bare, And so was her C U N T.

There was a young lady of Rhyll In an omnibus was taken ill, ...
There was a young lady of Rhyll In an omnibus was taken ill, So she called the conductor, Who got in and fucked her, Which did more good than a pill.