Humor: Worst of Fortunes for Monday April 29, 2019

A notorious whore named Ms. Hearst, In the pleasures of men...
A notorious whore named Ms. Hearst, In the pleasures of men was well-versed. Reads the sign o'er the head Of her well-rumpled bed "The customer always comes first."

There was a young woman of Cheadle, Who once gave the clap to...
There was a young woman of Cheadle, Who once gave the clap to a beadle. Said she, "Does it itch?" "It does, you damned bitch, And it burns like hell-fire when I peedle."

I argue very well. Ask any of my remaining friends. I can...
I argue very well. Ask any of my remaining friends. I can win an argument on any topic, against any opponent. People know this, and steer clear of me at parties. Often, as a sign of their great respect, they don't even invite me. --...