Humor: Worst of Fortunes for Monday August 26, 2019

I want to kill everyone here with a cute colorful Hydrogen...
I want to kill everyone here with a cute colorful Hydrogen Bomb!! -- Zippy the Pinhead

There once was a man named McSweeny Who spilled lots of gin...
There once was a man named McSweeny Who spilled lots of gin on his weeney So just to be couth He added vermouth And slipped his best girl a martini.

There was a young fellow named Sweeney, Whose girl was...
There was a young fellow named Sweeney, Whose girl was a terrible meanie, The hatch of her snatch, Had a catch that would latch, She could only be screwed by Houdini.