Humor: Worst of Fortunes for Friday August 30, 2019

The two most common things in the Universe are hydrogen...
The two most common things in the Universe are hydrogen and stupidity. -- Harlan Ellison

A lass at the foot of her class Asked a brainier chick how...
A lass at the foot of her class Asked a brainier chick how to pass. She replied, "With no fuss You can get a B-plus, By letting the prof pat your ass."

There once was a Usenetter named Mark, Whose gender was kept...
There once was a Usenetter named Mark, Whose gender was kept in the dark. He/she/it said with a nod, "My ancestors were odd!" Did Noah need two for the ark?

There once was a woman from Arden Who sucked off a man in...
There once was a woman from Arden Who sucked off a man in a garden. He said, "My dear Flo, Where does all that stuff go?" And she said, "[Swallow hard] I beg pardon?"

There was a young man of Devizes Whose balls were of different...
There was a young man of Devizes Whose balls were of different sizes. His tool when at ease, Hung down to his knees, Oh, what must it be when it rises!

There was a young man of Natal Who was fucking a Hottentot...
There was a young man of Natal Who was fucking a Hottentot gal. Said she, "You're a sluggard!" Said he, "You be buggered! I like to fuck slow and I shall."

There was a young woman from Bude, Who went for a swim in...
There was a young woman from Bude, Who went for a swim in the nude, But a man in a punt, Grabbed at her elbow, And said "Hey, lady, you can't swim here, it's private property."

There was an old man of Hong Kong Who never did anything...
There was an old man of Hong Kong Who never did anything wrong. He would lie on his back With his head in a sack And secretly finger his dong.

There was an old man of the port Whose prick was remarkably...
There was an old man of the port Whose prick was remarkably short. When he got into bed, The old woman said, "That isn't a prick; it's a wart!"